Truth

What is true and eternal exists
despite the unfolding of the material plane.
Indeed, it gave rise to all of what-is.

It is here and now, always,
whether or not one is consciously
aware of it.

It is the source of all,
whether or not one approves
of the unfolding.

It is the silence that beckons from the stillness between,
the captivating glimmer of ecstasy that shimmers
through cracks in the judgement, the disapproval, the hate.

It is the powerful ground of support
from which true strength, power and resolve arise.

Inhale. Exhale.

We are the alchemists we’ve been waiting for.
 

Home Within

Love.  Acceptance.  Support.

 It is what we all want. What we’re all looking for whether we’re aware of it or not. When we haven’t received this, or don’t receive it, our defenses come out. We react. We defend. We project our feeling of lack onto another by assuming they’re wrong, bad, mean, etc (insert story here). How we feel about ourselves(which is usually how our own inner critic  treats ourselves without words ever being spoken and often we are completely unaware this is happening because it can be so very subtle) is ultimately how we treat others, and what we project out onto the world around us.

 What if instead of assuming the worst about others (which is really a statement about how we feel about ourselves, as a result of not feeling like we got the love, support, or acceptance we needed (whether we actually got it or not), we assumed the best. What if instead of meeting others with doubt, cynicism, projection of whatever negative version of them we’ve got cooking up in our minds, we met them with the unconditional love, acceptance, and support we so desperately want for ourselves. The unconditional love, support, and acceptance that is already what we are, and they are, at the most fundamental level (the illusion of separate exists only in the mind).

 Might we halt an unconscious cycle of blind mind-perpetuated negativity? What if we treated others like we too know that everyone is doing their best. That everyone has had some type of hardship or trauma that we may or may not see, that has caused them to feel lack and deficiency.  And that usually people we perceive as difficult are fighting that uphill battle of feeling lack, void, deficient, unworthy.

 What if we started acting the way we wanted to be met by others.  First toward ourselves (as we cannot meet others with that that does not already exist within), then to those around us. The deepest most fundamental love there is IS unconditional. True change begins at home. It never begins “out there” with others changing as we feel they ought to change. It begins at home. This home. The home within.

 

Mirror Within

Eternity hums in me.

 It’s in the fading song of the crickets,

 in the whisper of the whippoorwill,

 in the cooing of doves,

 in the loon’s haunting cry.

 At times it crashes through me as though waves on a shore.

 It draws my insides out, turns them on themselves.

 Until I become clear like sky.

 Vast. Unbridled.

 It shows me my reflection in its still mirror.

 I see only what I want to see.

 Kindness, sadness, abundance, love, compassion, wisdom …

 they’re all there.

 I am source.

No longer can I pretend it is any other way.

It lives through me.

I kneel down before you, altar within.

 I yield to your stillness, your silent presence.

 For a second.  A minute.  A lifetime.

 You self perpetuate my Self.

 

Thank You

I've never been into mantras. I've never had one, and never felt the need to.

I recently heard a story about Moojiji speaking to a woman. She was kind-of rigid and not entirely receptive to him. He began to say something about a mantra and she apparently cut him off, indicating that she didn't like mantras. 

He asked her if he could finish his sentence. He went on to say that the only mantra he ever needed was "thank you." Putting his hands in front of his heart, bowing slightly, and uttering "thank you." I was deeply moved by that. 

I've never wanted or felt the need to have a mantra. Uttering "thank you" as many times a day as I can feels so right. 

Thank you, life. Thank you, earth. Thank you, family. Thank you friends. Thank you plants and animals. Thank you to anyone who has ever shown me kindness. Thank you anyone who has ever shown me negativity, as you are my teacher too. Thank you water. Thank you black tea. Thank you mountains. Thank you ocean. Thank you waves. Thank you sea turtles and dolphins and whales. Thank you house and bed. Thank you sun and moon and stars and breeze. Thank you wildflowers gently swaying. Thank you, beloved husband of mine. Thank you for the opportunity, all-that-is-and-ever-will-be, to manifest into being, to have a chance to dance here on this earth, in this wild ride we call life. I feel your beauty. I trust, and feel your support, your unconditionality. The love. Oh the love ...

Thank you.

This. Human. Life.

 

Our idea of how things
SHOULD BE
is an impediment to
HOW THINGS ARE
 
Our presence is 
the only alchemy
we ever need
to unlock the vast and eternal
miracle that is already here.
It unlocks itself.

Like This

Listen to Life. She has a lot to say. Go into the still, quiet room in your heart. Rest there, and listen. Her subtle voice is heard through rustling leaves, through the call of the mourning dove echoed against the stillness at dawn, the cry of the hawk against anciently carved canyons, through continuously lapping waves, through wind, and rain. It is heard in your breath, and in your courageously beating heart. Let’s not be too busy to hear Her. Relax there, in that still, quiet room. Life’s natural state is one of ease, as the deeply rooted tree yields to the fierce, powerful storm. The resistance is optional.

The pain, the grief, the anguish, the sadness, the feeling of emptiness and loss—they’re all just something deep within necessarily cracking open. Like the snake who sheds her skin in order to go on. They require no analysis, no explanation, and no answers. Just room to be. This process is as natural as thick impregnated clouds letting their rain fall steadily. The rain never needed a big story. It just needed to fall. And in so doing alchemizes potential into an explosion of powerfully colorful being. Learn not to be halted by these things, but rather grow around, with, and through them. Breathe into the density instead of contracting around it in a desperate attempt not to feel it. The strength and capacity to be with this level of intense discomfort is already there. The resistance is optional.

When you find yourself tossed about—identified with the turbulence of the wave—don’t forget to access the deep resource of the entire ocean. That which you’ve always been is yours to remember. What you’re rooted into goes as deep as you let it. BE your way into it. You are the eye of the storm, not the storm itself. This ride isn’t optional. You said yes to life long ago. Let it merely be happenstance, or deliberately chose to turn your sails into the wind. Take great care when sewing your seeds. Your inner and outer garden (one and the same) are a reflection of this. Be steadfast and persistent. Keep turning toward Life with an open heart, though it feels at times like being eviscerated. The strength and capacity to be with this is already there. The resistance is optional. 

Wild

The wild in you

is awake though

its quiet existence

may escape perception.

It matters not if it is felt,

or if it was forgotten long ago.

The wild in you is awake.

 

It calls to the

hawk soaring overhead,

gliding with unbridled fluidity.

It is elated predawn,

stretching into profoundly silent stillness,

untethering the heart

into a state of unfurling.

It expands into the vastness

of the nighttime heavens,

delighted by the dizzying astralscape.

 

At the sight of the full moon

it cries from every particle of being,

“Yes! Yes!”

and ceases not to be the

very sense of wonder itself.

It is awake while you drive your car,

leaping out of your chest

at lightning piercing the dark sky,

and becoming the exalted expression

of tree branches rooted into Source.

 

It looks into my eyes and

draws the wild out of me.

It is all that ever was or will be.

The wild in you is

all that is here, and now.

It never stopped

dancing to the beat

of a tribal drum.

It moves and merges

with all that was ever infinitely wild.

 

The wild was born before

words and thoughts turned into

concepts  and beliefs 

and crystallized into our reality.

It brings us closer to waves crashing,

rivers rushing,

 rain falling steadily on

earth pregnant with life.

 

The wild in us whispers

not to fear ourselves,

or the death we cannot die,

for what is wild will always be,

the wild in you, 

the wild in me.

Why Bother

I once believed that

the only constant is change.

Everything changes.

Always.

It is the nature of the unmanifest

manifested.

 

I used to believe that

the only thing we can count on

is death.

Like all who have come before,

and all who will henceforth come,

the body will be evacuated.

 

And then one day I took a dip

in another reality.

One that, despite the constant transition

and movement of life as we know it,

doesn’t ever change.

 

I couldn’t have thought or read

my way into this reality.

I made contact with it

only because I stopped.

I hit pause long enough

for this other cosmically profound

reality to reveal itself.

 

It is still and vast and silent.

It is benevolent.

It pervades everything,

though isn’t always experienced.

One must develop ears  

to hear silent music.

 

Eventually, it taught me

that I am It.

That we arose from It.

There is no possibility

of being anything else.

Separation simply does not exist,

despite the fact that the experiential

understanding of it is not ubiquitous.

 

Its benevolence is not altered

by man’s choice to kill, to pollute,

to rape and pillage Mother Earth,

to cut down her trees

and crap in her oceans.

Free will is free will.

It is way beyond preference.

But since the past, present, and future

are all indeed happening now,

solutions to man-made problems

already exist.

 

It is beyond time and space,

beyond concepts

of good, bad, right, wrong,

self, no self,

God, no God.

It is not personal.

Personal is what we do with it.

This totality simply IS everything.

 

So why pause for five minutes,

an hour, or a year?

Why pause to observe the mind,

the thoughts, the feelings,

the physical sensations?

Because not doing so

would be leaving the greatest gift

of your lifetime

on the curb in the trash heap.

 

I once heard it said that a drop

of water falling on rock

once or twice or even three times

has no impact.

But it is fact that

if this drop of water

falls on that rock

consistently and persistently,

over time it will carve a hole

on the scale of the Grand Canyon.

This

     There are times in life when utter doubt, confusion, and chaos move in like a dense fog settled upon the land. It seems as though we’ve lost the ability to see even our hand in front of our face. During times like this we have the propensity to begin a furious search for meaning, for answers. We go to this therapist, that book, this spiritual path, or that teacher. Desperate for clarity and meaning—for clear sunny blue skies—we begin seeking as though our very lives depend upon it. Sometimes guidance is appropriate. Another’s wisdom can serve as a signpost, an arrow.

                One reason that we have such a difficult time with these internal weather patterns is because they are uncomfortable–at times so uncomfortable that we feel as though we are being eviscerated. Most of us aren’t taught how to be with this intense discomfort. At times, instead of being with this intense discomfort we unknowingly project our hurt onto others in the form of blame, in a sense becoming a victim. Or we eat, drink, or binge watch episodes in a desperate attempt not to feel what we’re feeling.

                The potential for the capacity to be with all of it is there. It is inherent within us. It is quite possible to stop squirming against discomfort and instead allow it. To stop blaming others for our pain—or using other numbing behaviors—and begin to use our discomfort as the teacher, the guide, the therapist. All this takes is a willingness to stay, a willingness to stay with the intense physical sensation that is present in your chest, your gut, your pelvis, or wherever it may be. This intensity needs to breathe. It needs space and allowance. Continued resistance of it can result in a state of contracted energy buried deep within that ultimately turns into a state of dis-ease. Would you ever shout at a cloudy or foggy sky, “Hey, you’re not supposed to be here! I’d prefer a sunny sky instead!”? It would seem like madness to suggest to the present moment that it ought not be here.

                Our capacity cannot stretch if we do not open the door to what is uncomfortable and stand unwaveringly before it. While our culture distinguishes between physical and emotional pain, at the most subtle level they are not distinguishable. Next time you experience the unpleasantness of sadness, anger, confusion, or doubt, drop the concepts of sadness, anger, confusion, and doubt and simply be with the physical sensations, the breath. Go into a quiet room and drop the story, the explanations, and the analysis of your experience and simply be with your experience. Stay with it. Eventually it might not seem difficult to stay with discomfort. What felt charged, painful, and uncomfortable might just begin to lose its juice.

                As our capacity stretches we begin to find the strength and the courage to trust ourselves. We begin to realize that the very fibers of our being are suffused with the profound and outrageous intelligence of the Eternal itself—the same intelligence that beats our hearts, pulses life force through our veins, and births nebulas, black holes, and galaxies. The very same inexplicable intelligence that keeps us upright on earth with gravity, breathing oxygen, our innards staying in while we rotate around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour and hurl through space at 420,000 thousand miles per hour. That intelligence.

     All of a sudden it becomes much easier to trust ourselves and our capacity. To stop doubting who and what we are and instead open up to and allow the magnificence that we already are (that we just temporarily forgot about) with all of its weather patterns, not just the sunny, calm, and pleasant ones. We realize that we erroneously decided somewhere along the line that discomfort meant bad and not magnificent. We drop that false notion and instead let our discomfort morph into our wisdom. We develop the capacity to allow what is uncomfortable—just like eternity allows the birth and destruction of everything. As we remember what we are we begin to trust ourselves, to listen to our own intuition—that wordless voice that is our only true compass and hums louder as the noise dampens and the dust settles. Ultimately, we no longer need that teacher, that book, that spiritual path, or that therapist because we realize we were always all of those things. Ultimately, our evisceration becomes our liberation.